While going around with my ever bustling thought-bubble, I realized that many mundane aspects of our lives are ingrained in us, but with quite self-deteriorating notions. The concept of nullifying ones own existence or considering to be the last in receiving any privileges is so romanticized that we are always taught to ‘first love thou people’.
So, the question is when to love, think, or consider our own individuality? The concepts of ownership, unique personality, and prioritizing ones own demands are usually so maltreated, that even just thinking or discussing on these lines is apparently equalized to blasphemy.
But this needs to be changed! We are born to be different and independent, otherwise our Supreme Power (Allah SWT) would have easily created us as colones. Since we undergo complex hereditary variations, thus to be different is innate to us. There is no wrong, if my nine looks six to you. Both are right, the difference is in our perception, our placing, and our circumstances.
We are always told and even pressurized to love others first. Though there is no wrong in it, but I think the correct form should be to ‘first love yourself.’ If one is contented with his/her inner, only then he/she could think and feel positive. And for others to be happy, they need to be surrounded by individuals who only generate positive feel-good vibes. Right? Hence, the need is to educate ourselves and others to start loving themselves first. Before committing into any euphorically blissful promises with other innocent beings, learn to first love-your-self holistically; learn to care and support yourself independently. And that also just for your own sake.
Just imagine, if I am not contented and at peace with my own existence, with my own circumstances, with my own flaws, then how can I be expected to love others, care for others, and be their well-wisher? It’s quite a dilemma that we are always asked to put ourselves last or else we are titled as ‘selfish.’ My Economics Undergrad Professor used to say, ‘we humans are born selfish.’ And now I feel that she was right. There is no wrong in considering or focusing on your desires or following your aspirations. But the catch is, like all acts, DON’T practice it too excessively and solely.
Take home point is, love yourself first, just so that you can love others. Recall the in-flight safety instructions in which all the passengers are advised to, in case of emergency always put on your oxygen masks before helping others. It’s not that they are asking you to act selfishly, instead they want you to be strong enough to help others.
Thus, guys please start loving yourselves. This feeing should be so overwhelming and overflowing that others can simply be benefited by just being around your happy-go-lucky persona. To enlighten others’ lives, first learn to shine! Or else, don't expect to learn how to smile from a poker faced person!
Make way through your flaws; override all the obstacles; and be the bestest version of your self…be SO good that you can’t help but to love and be proud of your own existence. You are alive and comfortably breathing at this very moment; it’s an invaluable asset; the need is to just learn to value this miracle. Before becoming someone else’s fan or looking up to others, become your own favorite. Geet, in Jab We Met, quite aptly said, “main tu apni favorite hon.” Try to reiterate that spirit on everyday basis.
I love Maya Angelou’s succinct way of condensing my aforementioned monologue using an old African proverb that cautions us to “be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.” Hence, before seeking or giving out your love-notes, learn to use them for your own betterment. Rest will precede on its own! I also read one of the famous sayings of Oscar Wilde that, “to love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” This thought is so beautiful that I think from now on we all should just claim to be in-relationship with our own selves.
Until next time,
Let’s learn to ‘first love thyself’!
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