Recently my sister shared this
incident of my 8-year old niece invoking her freedom of speech right. She quite
innocently threatened her father of using ‘-1 formula’ IF he didn't followed her
command and that was to come home early :) Given that verdict…of course our
little one won…not only her father came home early, he also got her some
surprise treats—desi buttering!
Besides depicting my niece’s smartness, it
actually got me reminded and thinking of one of the strategies that sticked with
me during The Science of Well-Being course by Laurie Santos, a psychology
professor at Yale.
Don’t worry, I’ll help you explore this very emotionally
powerful, yet politically controversial tool called ‘minus one formula’ or '-1'. I won’t
be diving into any politics, instead my discussion will be centered on
implementing this simple strategy to stay happy.
Weird…I know!
I remember my
Economics-101 professor in our very first lecture taught us that we humans are
born selfish and consumers. We are always bombarded with the concept of getting
one more (+1) to attain satisfaction, then how on earth deleting one or giving
up could make us happy. I know it’s a bit confusing, one of those
#NeverHaveIEver…cringes!
But believe me, ‘minus one’ is a research based
psychological tactic to refresh and boost ones happiness quotient. How? All we
need is to have strong imagination and some simple time travel skills.
Purposefully Crafted Example: Recently you bought a brand new expensive car. But
after sometime your excitement level not only halted but is constantly
declining. You are kind of getting used to it…and to be honest now wish to have
the next level luxury car! How could you stop this saddening-wanting cycle?
[-1
Past]: Shuffle your memories and recall the ones where you had no car to begin
with. Remember and ‘concretely reexperince’, as termed by Prof. Santos, the time
when you got to your workplace by bus only to find all your colleagues’ shinny
cars neatly parked in the parking lot. I am sure this reality-recall would be
enough to ones again instantly become grateful and happy with what you got!
[-1
Present]: But how can I feel happy and contented in present, today, or as of
this very moment? To solve this dilemma, Prof. Santos recommends to ‘concretely
observe’, where we are actually required to do something, rather than simple
time travel. Quite often our conscious minds need a jolt of reality check to
taste and live the life with ‘-1’. For our crafted car scenario, one ought to
leave the car parked, better at your friend’s place that’s far away from your
own. Then opt to use public transport for your usual commuting. I am sure doing
your usual bulk groceries is not going to be fun and relieving anymore as it
used to be! Living without once-very-dear-car for sure is challenging. As soon
as you realize, live, and give up on this self-imposed trail, you’ll love to see
your ‘-1’ (here, car) in a newer brighter context.
[-1 Future]: Prof. Santos
uses ‘negative visualization’ to explain this strategy. She recommends to
imagine your future and think ‘what if’ it never had happened….! Coming back to
our perplexed car situation, ask yourself what would your future be like if you
never had ever bought a car. Would you like being not on time to your workplace
because of a random bus delay? How would you feel (God forbids) taking your
parents to an ER for an emergency on a rainy day? This ‘-1’ future for sure
seems quite gloomy, and is enough to make you realize the importance of what you
got right now…so feel contented owning a well-maintained car.
I do realize that
this ‘-1’ conceptualization does involve quite strong imaginative workout…but
believe me, it works. And I am all for anything that works and is free!
I think
the rule of thumb to be happy is to find ways, whatever works for you, to stay
grateful and feel contented in your current situation/s.
P. S. “The Art of Well-Being” course is offered by Yale and
delivered by Professor Laurie Santos at www.coursera.org. It's available to everyone!
