📝 Knowing when to 'skip'…

It's a technique that's literally taught in a class for a hefty price. And here I am just sharing it for free…lucky you guys :) Oh, I hear someone saying kay…good things in life are free…yah right ! 

Currently I'm preparing for an exam (fingers crossed). As a doing-well strategy, we are continually being advised to focus on learning to skip, logically. It’s a proven technique to get better score, under those time-ticking constraints.

According to this skip-ritual, one is recommended to skip a question, that’s too hard, too wordy, too complicated, or just plain gibberish.The goal is to keep going with a consistent momentum, without getting bogged down by the test-makers’ intentionally bestowed humps and bumps.

I am not too sure how much I could implement all that during the exam…still practicing! But as a general rule, this appears to be quite an effective strategy on mundane everyday basis. Most of us are ingrained with doing each and every task to its best and till its completion. Ufff…all will agree kay it’s literally quite exhausting, tiring, and draining. 

Now just imagine the same you…who is free to do any task, in any random order, with the required completion rate of only 70% or 80%. Won’t that be a breath of fresh air? Not worrying about 100% is such a great relief…especially, to all the perfectionist folks (like me). 

So, without making it unnecessarily wordy with reiterations, the simple advice is to learn and practice the art of skipping. It’s okay to not to be THE best or 110% at all instances. Rather, the focus should be on being consistent while staying normal and relaxed. Kyon-kay, ironically our 80% or 100% inputs are just relative concepts…no one can ever gauge it…so why stress out!  

Instead of deciphering all nitty-gritty details of random everyday perplexities, the idea is to be able to keep breathing till the day-end. If you don’t feel like doing something, and know kay it’s not that important, then please don't feel obliged to do that. The world can survive without you being the super-doer...trust me on that ;) So, handpick only few important tasks to complete and ones done…wohla. That’s it…no more…no extra! 

Thus, do less to relax.

📝 Yes...I’m Judging You...

This’ll be a simple, apt, yet a very blunt display of my hatred towards smokers. Though I am not judgmental, but unfortunately for this smoking habit, I am. Period. I just can’t find any logical reason to support this craziness. 

So, without further delay…here comes my crude extraction:  

Insensitive: This is very obvious…even on a sidewalk, they’ll just pass by while puffing out all their dhoowan on a person like me…who just can’t tolerate. Plus, it just surpasses all heights of immorality, when they act so insensitively towards innocent kids—who are unconsciously absorbing everything, even their behaviors.

Stubborn: Because…no matter how many times they read, hear, see, or are told…but most just chose not to quit!

Stressed: Besides initial so-called pleasure…smokers end up adopting it as a habit because it just provides them with an outlet to destress. Seriously, if that’s de-stressing…then believe me you (smoker) are better off by staying fully-stressed!! 

Unhealthy: It’s a no-brainer that taking care of our body should be our top priority. I know there are few down/lazy days…but just few. But smokers, by just indulging into this most-unhealthiest habit drive themselves onto the most dangerous route, which literally got the Dead-End. No matter how many greens you churn…or miles you run…that pack in your pocket got your visa stamped to the *Heavens, (*just trying to be polite…).

Ambivalent: They just can’t makeup their minds, or better can’t just accept the fact that their act is wrong; smoking in no way is accepted, and they should stop. No! On contrary, they try to prove that it’s not harmful…instead all can “safely” *enjoy it. It’s just so irritating!

Pleasure-Seekers: If not just-for-a-puff, then what else are they doing? 

Short-Term Plans ONLY: Or else they’ll be thinking about the long-term side effects of their habit…their future, their family, their kids. No! Instead…they tu just believe in aaj mein jeena…crazy people! It’s impossible to construct any long-term plans with the ones who believe in sole ‘now’ moments. Caution: not good future partners!  

Impulsive: Of course, all that leads up to their impulsive, panicked, and emotional nature. Meaning, they’ll smoke when they got nothing to do…and they’ll still smoke when got a lot to do…just difficult confused people.

Last but not the least, I am not naming this idea/question…because it’s simply a food for thought. If a smoker can’t tame his/herself or get control of their own personality, then how can they expect their kids to be ideal—super-ggod, super-responsible, super-obedient. It just is not possible. Instead this habit is like a chain-reaction…ones initiated…would just ignite all succeeding ones. So, it’s better to stop at your individual level, rather than choosing to force your kids to do the opposite (quit).

Think and Quit! 

📝...if I were to make a ""Masala FilLem""...

I had been thinking of writing this blogpost for almost two weeks,…actually since the day I saw Radha from Jab Harry Met Sejal. Though we’ll be only able to know on August 4th kay what actually happens (this time)…Jab they Met! 

But in the meantime, while listening to my playlist…I unintentionally started imaging new situations for some of my heard-million-times songs. It was fun…so, here I am just sharing my slice of spice…which I enjoyed a lot while creating: )  

Disclaimer: This film is made possible, using the sole input of my trusted playlist…😉. 

So, let’s get get going…Start, Camera, Action. 

Situation: The girl’s entry…grooving with her friends on this funky classic punjabi remix…“Engine ki Seeti”.

Situation: Boy’s entry…singing “Yaaron Sun Lo Zara” with his friends.

Situation: Boy saw and met the girl for the first time in a party…where “O Gujariya” was playing. 

Situation: Both perplexed…and while thinking about each other…they start questioning kay “Kya Mujhe Pyaar Hai”.

Situation: First things first…boy’s daring act of confession with “Gulabi Aankhen”.

Situation: Girl, shyly passes her feelings in a quite subtle way with “Deewani Mastani”.

Situation: Someone breaks this news to their parents…and here comes their downtime…the twist…which they enjoy in a most classic way with “Jashn e Baharan”. 

Situation: As expected parents give-in…and this happy occasion of ‘haan’ (acceptance) and Methai sharing is ought to be celebrated with “Shakar Wadawan”. 

Situation: Girl displays her happiness on this whole set-up with imagining…“Rehnuma”. 

Situation: Boy, in a slightly showoff/outrageous way bursts his emotions with… “Pee Loon”.

Situation: Both families meet each other to start Shaadi preps…with “Ishaq Bulava" playing in the background, which of course…only the girl and boy can hear and enjoy ;) 

Situation: Mehndi/Shaddi celebrations happening with all enjoying…“Rang Rang Mein”. 

Situation: Though not needed…but since I also had “Yeh Hassen Wadiyan” on my list, and which I always enjoy…so let’s not ignore that…and stick it to the end, with credits rolling. 

P.S. I know this looks less like a film, but more like a musical…just created to cater all these songs…but it’s okay. After all it’s my film…and I can do anything…right 😉? 

After the "Happy Ending”…a moment....a story....

He was gently hugging her...calmly brushing his hands on her back…she was secretly tip-toeing on his feet...while letting her curls to gently kiss his face…lakin, the door opened…and everyone stepped out...he too, empty handed…she managing her two super-heavy bags...followed him...quietly! 

Astounded, I asked myself…kay what was that? 

Is it 'being-rude' or 'being-used'...?

P.S. This short narrative is solely based on my observation of a couple…who hopped on the train…I was also commuting on...! 

The Reason Why I Stopped Looking For Happiness...?

Lately I had been really confused on the concept of happiness. I know it’s a very derailing n draining topic…lakin I’ll try to keep it short and simple! 

Digging into my bookish knowledge…I found myself always coming across the concept kay…happiness is inside us. Then there’s another entirely different idea kay gee...happiness is around us. And that still is not the end of the story…we got more…it’s said kay...happiness is the feeling we choose to surround ourselves with! 

All really confusing and mind boggling talk…! 

But recently…and by that I actually mean yesterday ;)…it just clicked me kay being-happy got such liberating and relaxed vibes…that it’s implausible to downsize and confine it to a specific definition. It’s just not comprehending for me! 

Keeping it plain n simple, I think, happiness is simply when we smile :) I guess that’s too brief…and deserves its due grant of explanation...

The point is kay…whenever we are happy, we smile…except our super-sensitive Amees …who, even when they’re happily smiling, can always magically transform their eyes into oceans…a pure-desi-mystery…hmmm :) Oh…now I’m floating away...! 

So, when we genuinely smile, it plainly signifies that we are either contented with our current situation or are satisfied with our future prospect. Happiness is simply a feeling of contentment and satisfaction. We don't need to look or search for it—inside, outside, around, or anywhere! 

But it’s really hard to be contended;…we are just not born that way. We are not Angles…who without questioning anything…just follow His given set of instructions and feel contented. It’s hard for us! We are made to think, question, resist, and always look beyond our current circumstances…let’s say for betterment! 

This is the instance, when staying happy transforms into an effort, a tiresome personal battle. My advice is to please avoid reaching that extreme exhausting phase…and try to find satisfaction, peace, calm, and positive in the "now" moment. 

I know its easier said than done…issi liye I believe…if there’s one thing we all can learn, practice, and preach…then that's "contentment".  

When Men-Sit n Women-Stand…!

This is a usual sight during my PATH-train ride…men shamelessly sit…while women with their big-heavy-dangling-shoulder bags stand right in front of them…I really don't like this sight…it just loops out my conceptual gentleman-phenomenon! So much so, that it’s depressing…and quite helplessly saying kay this is just the glimpse of the world we live in! 

But then I question myself kay…are these the aftereffects of our ‘feminist cry’? 

Just as a side note…feminism or being a feminist is also one of those concepts which, before getting fully deciphered…just prematurely landed in our laymen hands…and from there starts the story of their abuse or so to say, misuse. 

Is demanding equal pay…feminism? No…as logically it falls under the umbrella of employ-employee regulations.  

Is demanding right to go-topless in public, being feminist? NOO! Truly saying…it’s plain stupidity!

Demands are justifiable needs…not insane nonsense extremes!

I am always confused on the concept of demanding equality. Firstly, there’s an inherent problem…we only ‘demand’ or ‘want’ what we don't have, period. Declaring our lack of it and desire for it…is enough to disclose, to the world, our desperation for it. Hence, the more we want…often…the more resistance we ought to face! 

To rephrase it, we women, so naively or innocently, declare it to our fellow humans—men, that there is something called ‘equality’ which is not been given to us, and thus we need, want, and desire it, especially from them.

Please note that, just by saying it…I immediately ranked my fellow humans as superior beings! And that was completely the opposite of our intention,….right? This is the problem…we unintentionally rank ‘men’ as our superiors…from whom we seek some sort of permission…or approval!   

I never understand…why we need equality…why we want to be treated like them…?

My fellow humans, being so contented in their own skins and status…never demand it. 

But, why we? 

Why we can’t see ourselves as one of God’s best marvels? He created us so different…we are not like them…we are not equal to them. We are so much different…so much better…and so much stronger. I understand…we have our downsides…but, dear ladies, this is the world and we are the humans. Please snap out of Heaven and Angles conceptualizations. Since you are reading this…we are not there, yet!  

Coming back to my idea…WE, just being stubborn…or sometimes just getting entangled in strange lucrative politics…or for money games…or might be just to satisfy our status quo…; quite ignorantly, ignore our beautiful existence. We, quite foolishly, start to demand permission for going topless-in-public. We want our fellow humans to be arrested for glaring at our shiny-display-of-skin. This is plain foolish! It’s not demanding equality neither it is called feminism! 

Just imagine…men marching to get the legislations approved for the medical experiments to enable them to conceive. It’s in no way demanding equality…this is all insane, stupid, rubbish talk…it’s in no way a call for equality. No one would agree to that…at lest not in their rightful minds!

Why? There’s only one reason—to justify it…we need to agree that we are not satisfied with our current conditions…and want to churn the wheel back to our ancient times. 

Hence, my dear ladies…think and act just like the way we are made to. No one is superior or inferior in this world…so please, clean up your thoughts. We all are just humans…who need to surpass this gender discrimination. We all only need ‘human rights’…no more, no less!   

I agree kay the word “equality” got so many different connotations that it’s a slippery slope. But we need not to fall on any extreme end. So, please stop hazing out the feelings and thoughts of our fellow beings by pretending kay we are okay with our standing…or we don't need their help and can deal with all life matters on our own. Accept the truth…we cannot…they cannot…no one can survive alone! 

Need proof? Adam and Eve landed on Earth…together…neither of them came before or after. It is unity and togetherness that matters and strengthens us…nothing else. We don't need to fight for our rights…its selfish…instead we need to stand as humans…for humans. This ain’t about i and u…it’s about us!   

We are made to be sanfe-nazuk…who desire respect, affection, pamper, and care. Given that…rest automatically precedes the later. 

So, let men stand…and you please sit and relax…while praising only Him (swt)…as we are the mere samples of His (swt) infinite artistry. 

P.S. I’m in no way…referring or neglecting the violence happening on women around the world. But again, to me, women suppression, in any country or culture signifies human suppression, in general.